A Theory of Relativity

Happy Monday, and happy March!  Lucas and Olivia began March as they ended February, as super rock stars.  For the second day in a row, Olivia was able to spend a good amount of time out with mom and dad.  Her feeds were increased, and, generally, she did well with her breathing.  She even survived another diaper change by dad.

Lucas enjoyed his second day of 'practice' feeding.  He spends some time with mom before and while they give him his morning feed through his feeding tube.  Mom pumps first, so he doesn't bite off more--or really anything--than he can chew, but he did even better today than yesterday at going through motions.  And, when finished, he slept deeply from all the hard work.

Almost as exciting, Lucas got his first round of performance enhancing drugs today.  Literally.  He has been a bit anemic, so today he got a medication that will help him produce more red blood cells.  This is apparently something certain cyclists use to make them better cyclists.  So now, at the tender young age of 31 days (adjusted gestational age 31 weeks), Lucas has now had two steroid injections (while in utero) and one red-blood-cell-creating injection.  Not to get him in trouble if the Olympic committee ever reads this blog years down the road . . .

Mom and dad had a great, albeit tiring, day as well.  Because dad occasionally has the misperception that if one is good, two certainly is better, we tried to have two visits to the hospital today.  We'd tried this before and realized how tiring it is, but dad also has a short memory, so we tried it again today.  It worked well, albeit tiring, thanks in large part to a kind friend who let us work at her house nearby during the day in between hospital visits.  Mostly, one good visit in the morning seems the smarter option, but dad may forget again in a couple weeks and try the visit sandwich again.

Finally, though it only took 31 days, we finally learned today why some babies in the nicu have very large cribs (like something you might see at home), while others are in incubators like our little ones, while still others are in the small, rolling, open-air carts you see non-nicu babies in around the hospital.  The babies in the large cribs are babies that will stay in the nicu for even longer than Lucas and Olivia.  They stay long past term (adjusted gestational age 40 weeks).  These babies need a little extra time getting their breathing under control, or learning to eat.  The open-air-cart babies are sometimes term babies who come to the nicu for less than a week.

This got me thinking about one of my favorite topics.  I always find it interesting when we things like, oh, I shouldn't be worrying, so and so has it 100 times worse than me.  Or, worse, why is so and so worrying, their 'problems' are nothing.  Recently, some have apologized to me for complaining about something in their life.  I'm sorry, they say or think, you've got it far worse than me and here I am complaining.

Lucas and Olivia's friends, who will spend weeks or months longer in the nicu, reminded me that there is always someone out there going through something worse.  See also, e.g., Haiti and Chile.  And, there is always someone out there whose life is easier.  The trick, I think, is to live your own life intensely.  I believe I am invited to accept and embrace whatever cards I am dealt.  I believe a power greater than me, whom I like to refer to as God, has a plan.  And, She smiles when I am willing to accept that plan even when it is far, far afield from what I would have drawn up for myself.  Comparing my hand to those around me is just a red herring.  One of my human failings if you will.  Like concentrating on the day in front of me, or the breath of the moment, living my life, while feeling compassion for others, is the gift I am invited to accept every day.