Learning to Take it Slow

Today was a beautiful day, in many ways. 

Both babies continue to do well.  Olivia started up again on her breastmilk feeds last night and the plan was to continue increasing her volume of milk over the next 36 to 48 hours until she's back on only breastmilk again.  The doctors were still waiting for the 48 hour results of her blood culture during rounds, but it seems likely that she did not actually have an infection, or a very minor one, which would mean no more antibiotics.  So once she's back on full feeds, she can lose the IV.  That would be nice.  The babies tolerate the pokes and pricks and such quite well, but I always feel better for them the less medical items they're attached to.  Olivia continues to do well with her breathing, so the attending over this weekend may start the process of weaning down her cpap.  She will be happy to have her face free again.  Until then, the nurses are alternating between prongs and a mask to give her little nose and face a break.  We think the prongs give a lovely view of her beautiful face, here enjoying a nap with Mom:

Lucas also continues to do well.  He had no breathing events (apneas or bradys, or "A's" and "B's", in NICU parlance) over the past 24 hours and is looking very comfortable on his cannula.  He may also get his respiratory support weaned down this weekend, although the doctor is planning to leave him on at least some support as we work on increasing Lucas's p.o. feeds (nursing and bottles).  He enjoyed snuggle time with both Mom and Dad today, and will get to start nursing twice a day this weekend.  Mom and son both enjoy that time together, as evidenced by this post-feeding picture after Wednesday's bath:

After a lovely visit to the hospital, we practiced one of the lessons that the babies are teaching us - to slow down and appreciate all the small beauties that life offers up every day.  This has been particularly challenging for Mom, as I like to plan and schedule and fill my time with "productive" activities.  Planning went out the door back in mid-January when I got put on bedrest, and I have been working ever since to adjust to the lack of control that this experience has brought to our lives.  Letting go of trying to plan ahead and just taking what each day has to offer has been difficult, but rewarding when I can do it.  

The other lesson in slowing down has occured this week, since I stopped working.  This was a difficult decision, as I really enjoy my job and do not tend to do particuarly well with lots of unscheduled time.  Even on vacation I like to keep busy with activities.  My first day off work I asked Jonathan for a list of things that he would like to have done around the house, to help me feel productive.  While I can report that I'm making good progress on that list, over the past three days I have also enjoyed a much needed nap and several walks in beautiful spring weather.  This afternoon I even got a massage, and spent a lovely half-hour beforehand sitting in Lafayette Park, just looking at the White House and all the people strolling around.  The idea of just sitting, not reading or checking email on my iPhone or talking to someone, would have been totally outside my comfort zone even a few weeks ago.  But today I enjoyed just sitting and watching and thinking, not having to constantly stimulate myself with activity.  Mom and Dad also got to enjoy some time together, walking through our neighborhood in the sunshine, feeling excited about sharing Washington, DC with Lucas and Olivia, and just appreciating its beauty today. 

 

So while I don't in any way believe that it's good that things have unrolled as they did over the past two months, I do believe that we can find some good in this experience.  For me, top of that list is the ability to relax, slow down, and smell the blossoms :)